Wednesday, September 13, 2017

It Might be Him

It was early in the morning, a few days after his passing. I couldn't fall back to sleep so I decided to get up from the bed. My only goal that day was to come up with a list of songs for the funeral. That was my only assignment, the others were being taken care of by our beloved friends and families.

If you ever knew my late husband Denny, you could easily said that he was an idealist, the kind of person who would plan ahead of time, who enjoyed well-arranged events. And as someone who loved to sing and lead worship almost half of his life, I knew how picky he would be with songs selections. So, the pressure was on, I wanted to prepare his last event on earth perfectly. But my mind was too shattered to remember a single gospel song of his favorites and my heart was too broken to retrieve any memory.

I was sitting at the corner of my bedroom with my eyes closed. Planning a funeral for my husband was never written in my wish list, not in my young age. My phone suddenly buzzed. Who would’ve called this early? I didn’t recognize the number, an overseas number. It was not in my contact and it started with +62. I knew it was from Indonesia. I usually would press the red button but that morning my finger wasn’t following my head. I swept right and said hello…

hello ….
hello ….

No voice just loud noises

Just as I was about to hang up I heard a familiar tune. I tried to quiet my mind to listen to the noise. It sounded like a service and people were singing. Somehow the noises calmed my raging heart, so I kept listening. The song soon ended and I heard someone talked. I tried to catch some words but wasn't really able to understand. Right after, they continued with a song and suddenly I burst into tears. It was one of Denny’s favorite song. The song that he always ran to whenever he needs strength. I cried and whispered “Thank you, Daddy God, for remembering me, for showing me the way, for sending me a song from Heaven” I sat there, singing and sobbing until the song ended and so did the phone call.

"God Is The Strength Of My Heart"
by Don Moen

Whom have I in heaven but You
There is nothing on earth I desire beside You
My heart and my strength many times they fail
But there is one truth that always will prevail

God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
God is the strength of my heart
And my portion forever

Up to this day, I never knew who the mysterious caller was. All I knew was that God called me to give me a song in time that I needed it the most.

The song was sang during the funeral. The song was a confession of my faith. The song was a prophecy. The song set a pathway for me to walk on even when the journey was dark and clouded with pain. God is indeed my strength and my portion forever.

Friends, be very certain that God knows exactly what is going on with your life. He knows every struggle. He knows how broken your heart is. He know how clouded your mind is. He knows how messy your days are. He knows how hopeless you are. He knows every tear, every disappointment, every pain, every heartache, everything.

As David says in Psalm,
Even when I walk 
through the darkest valley, 
I will not be afraid, 
For You are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.

I pray that you will be aware of His presence in your life, even in the moments of desperation. There are things about Him we can only get to know in times of weakness. He is a Father who never leaves us. He is a Father who remembers. Hold on to your faith and don't be surprised to receive a call from an unknown number because who knows it might be Him.

For His Glory,

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