Sunday, April 21, 2019

Resurrected



Res·ur·rect
/ˌrezəˈrekt/
restore (a dead person) to life

Today, in the middle of a cemetery, I was resurrected once again. 



In the past few weeks, 
I have been battling in a deep deep valley of one’s soul.

Where did it start? I didn’t really know.

It was one thing after another, it was one disappointment after another, it was one doubt after another. It was one fear after another. It was me searching for answers and struggling to figure out how to pursue a calling, to run the race, to keep the hope up, to solve problems, and to balance the plate on my hand. It was me trying to find out what went wrong in the process, what could’ve been done, what should’ve been done. It was me looking in the mirror and realized the nothingness in me. It was me gazing beyond present time and saw the impossibles. It was me feeling alone, abandoned, and left behind.

This kind of battle was not unfamiliar to me. I’ve been in several before, but just like any other battle, we feel powerless. There were days when I had to drag myself out of the bed, out of my room, out of my office room, and faced things I tried to avoid. There were days when I shut down communication with the outside world. There were days when I felt like dropping my plate and hide.

Overwhelmed.
I was drowned in the sea of feelings and thoughts.

Even when I knew God was always near. Even when I knew His presence was always with me. Even when I knew I am His beloved. I just couldn’t see anything pass the valley.

Until the day I visited the cemetery.

It was the day before Good Friday. We decided to visit the graveyard sites of my grandparents and aunt. Since the passing of my late husband, graveyard is no longer a strange place for us, for me, at least. Walking along the crowded site, my eyes scanned through each tombstone. I tried to look into the names, the dates of their birth and death. My heart was broken whenever I saw small tombstones where babies were buried. Yet it warmed my heart when I saw husband & wife being buried together as they died in their old age.

It took us some time to finally locate the tombstones. We laid some flowers, we remembered them and gave thanks to God for their lives. And as we were about to depart, I somehow turned my eyes once again on my aunt’s tombstone to read the bible verse written on it ...

You don’t have to wait for the End. 
I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. 
The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. 
And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all. 
Do you believe this? 
John 11:25-26 (MSG)

And right there, at that moment, the word “resurrection” jumped out and snapped me out of my misery.

God whispered “I am right now, the resurrection and the life” I have died and resurrected for you to know and believe that I am for you and I have won every battle for you!

Between now and then lay the hard stuffs, but again, this life on earth is only temporary. Why do I have to be so burdened by it? Why do I have to be so consumed by it? In my beginning, God was there, He was the One who knitted me in my mother’s womb, He wrote the story of my life. In my middle, God is here, walking with me in every step of the way and making sure I am protected, provided, and loved. In the end, God has already been in the last of my days, He has seen the end of my story, He has won the battle, and He will welcome me with delight on that glorious day.





Yes, in this middle, is the hard stuffs, the process, the waiting, the hard work, where strength, perseverance and courage is required, where faith and trust collides, where God shows up every single time.

So, right in the middle of the cemetery, I was resurrected again.

So death, tell me, where is your victory?
Tell me death, where is your sting?
It is sin that gives death its sting and the law that gives sin its power.
But we thank God for giving us the victory as conquerors through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 (TPT)

Friends, you may be currently in the middle of a deep dark valley. You may just arrived or have been in the battle for so long. You may be overwhelmed with worry, fear, and feeling of hopelessness. You can't see the light on the other side. Everything has been spent to find a way out. Your soul is tired of waiting, hoping and believing. The disappointment is too much to bear. Running away seems like a good idea. And you are at the end of the rope.

Friends, please allow me to speak life upon you and your situation. I pray that you will be resurrected TODAY from all the things that have been consuming your mind, heart and soul. I pray that you will have the courage to reach the hands of your Savior. I pray that hope will overwhelm your sorrow and bind your confusion. May you rise up and believe once again that your days ahead will be better that yesterdays because your battle has transformed you into a mightier warrior.




Don’t give up. There is more to your story.


Love,
Felecia



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