Colorful Life

This morning a dear friend sent me a message "so, you like to wear black?" I answered "you notice"

It used to be yellow. I didn't know how it started, as far as I can remember, when I was younger, people used to compliment me every time I wore yellow. Sunflower was my favorite. Slowly I moved to purple, our color. Then came along the kids, more yellow, pink, blue then green. Our world was so colorful

Then it happened. As my world was turned upside down, my closet was also turned to black, white, and grey. I wore black daily. I was hiding in black. I wanted to blend in and become invisible. I wanted to warn new people, please don't ask me anything. I became as black as I possibly could from head to toe. Then as my healing journey continued, I found black very comfortable and easy. It turned out that black invited new people. I started to smile then laugh in black. I started to gain more confidence in black. I started to connect in black. Sometimes when my heart was lighter, I would wear white and grey but most of time black. The pain that I was trying to hide behind black turned to be a graceful permission that push me to get up, walk out, and share the story of my life to the world.

Last year, about 2.5 years down my healing journey, God started to whisper "wear colors, My dear, you are made to live in full color". Suddenly it was no longer whisper, it was confirmation after confirmation. He invited me to come back and live fully.

My love with black will be forever but as you notice in some of my recent pictures on Instagram, I started to wear color, I even wore a bright hot pink jacket a few days ago! Oh boy, I would never thought it will ever happen.

Friends, in whatever stage of your healing journey, please take your time and feel comfortable in whatever color that you are in: white, grey, or black. One day you will receive the invitation to more colors and when the time comes, I believe you will ready to step into more. In the mean time, be comfortable, be yourself, love yourself, you are beautiful! This life is indeed colorful regardless whatever color you are comfortable in at this moment.

Here’s another way to put it: 

You’re here to be light, 

bringing out the God-colors in the world. 

God is not a secret to be kept. 

We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. 

If I make you light-bearers, 

you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? 

I’m putting you on a light stand. 

Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! 

Keep open house; be generous with your lives. 

By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, 

this generous Father in heaven.

Matthew 5 (MSG)

For His Glory~