Permissions for You

This post is dedicated to dear friends and families of a grieving soul.

The deepest pains may linger through the night, 

but joy greets the soul with the smile of morning.

Psalm 30

>>>>>>>

My dear friends,

You know that my loved one just died and my life is turned upside down. As much as I want to be alone, I actually need you to be around. So, here I am giving you permissions to:

1. Call me. Text me. Visit me. Talk to me.
There are days when all I want to do is to cave in and hide but there are more days when I want you to ask me how my day has been, how the kids are doing, how do I feel, and just talk about anything.

2. Cry with me.
I appreciate you more when you cry in front of me. It's like an invitation for me to cry and feel these painful feelings inside of me.

Sometimes allowing yourself to cry is the scariest thing you'll ever do. 
And the bravest, It takes alot of courage to face the facts; 
stare loss in the face; bare your heart, and let it bleed. 
But it is the only way to cleanse your wounds and prepare them for healing. 
GOD will take care of the rest. 
-Barbara Johnson

3. Talk about my loved one.
When you ask me about him/her, say his/her name, and tell stories about him/her, I would most likely cry but I would be happier because I know that he/she still lives in our hearts.

4. Try again.
Call me again. text me again. visit me again. talk to me again. Maybe you've tried before and it didn't work well -I didn't respond, but please try again.

5. Trust me
One day I want to smile again, talk again, live again but for now please be patient and stay with me.

6. Listen to me
I know that I am not supposed to stay this way. But for now, I just need you to listen and validate my feelings. Just give me some time and when I am ready, I will start crawling, walking, running, then flying and move forward.

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

7. Remind me
How much God loves me. How much I am loved and never alone.

I know it's not easy to watch me going through pain and grief, but I need you to stay with me. There will be a day when we shall walk together again along the flowery hills, full of joy, full of life.

With love and gratitude,

Felecia