Here in the Mystery

Humans are born with curiosity of the future. Most of us always want to know what’s going to happen next. It’s so obvious that even we can see it in our children. Lines like “Are we there yet? So, what’s after the movie, mom? What are we gonna do this weekend? How many more days until Christmas? I wonder what will I get for my birthday?”

The details of tomorrows.

When I was in High School, I begged God to show me the details of my future, how my life is going to be in college, whom am I going to marry, the number of children I would have, the career path O would take, the city I would live and so on. It seemed like life would be a lot easier, smoother, and better if only we are given previews of what’s coming next.

Oh God, please show just a little bit of my future then I will be at peace.
But will I? Will you?

Seven years ago just when I thought I had a hold of my life and sort of knew how my future would be, my life went the other way around. At the age of 32, I became a widow with three young children. Aside from the grief, aside from the fear of what’s coming next, I chose a different direction by asking God not to tell me anything. As much as I was scared of the present I was even more scared of the future.

Although it was fear at the beginning but as I made myself comfortable living with the mystery, I discovered beauty. The beauty of trusting Someone who knows everything about me.

I will trust
Here in the mystery
I will trust
In you completely
-Amanda Cook

When God made a promise “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”, He meant it well. For me, His words can be trusted and I choose to leave the details as mysteries. All I need is just a direction for the next step.

“Give God the right to direct your life, and as you trust him along the way you’ll find he pulled it off perfectly!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37:5‬ ‭TPT‬‬

Some of you might hear this story before but allow me to share one more time. One year after my world was turned upside down, God nudged my heart to move back to my birth country. With zero idea of what would come in the package, I told the kids, let’s give this (crazy) nudge a try. With a questions-filled-heart I bought four tickets, packed just enough of our lives in eight suitcases and hopped on the airplane to Indonesia. It was as if the airplane went into a thick cloud and disappear into the mystery.

Yet in the other side of the thick cloud, God came through over and over and over again. He took me to places that I have never imagined, trusted me with grander things beyond my wildest dream, and ushered me into a journey of finding my purpose in life. Even with a broken heart and a broken dream, the Good Good Father pulled off every single plan perfectly. From mystery into beautiful reality.

Friends, whether you are at a crossroads or in the midst of a storm or just being curious, I pray that your heart will stay secured in God’s love. He can be trusted, His plan is for a hope and a future and He is the details Master. Trust Him in the mystery and trust Him completely.

For His Glory, 

Felecia