[#hopeagain] Forget Not

After what I have been through in 2011, there was a point in my life when I could say to myself “I have gone through the worst and came out alive, there would never be any hard circumstances in this lifetime that I wouldn’t be able to endure”. I thought I had built strong faith muscle. I thought what God has done in my life would always be an anchor in any season of my life. But how I was wrong. 

In 2020, as the world was going through the fire together, the family and I were also going through another fire which made the furnace doubled in heat and pressure. A battle so big, a battle so unpredictable, unexpected, unimaginable. I started to lose myself in the midst of it. Questions, doubts, anger, worry and fear started to appear more often than ever. The highs and the lows tide of emotions. And I continued to lose myself. 

Until the day I realized that I have been hopeless for a while

Hopelessness is an emotion characterized by a lack of hope, optimism, and passion. An individual who feels hopeless may often have no expectation of future improvement or success. -goodtherapy.org

That day, I realised that I had put my hope in many things but God. 

I realized that my hope was getting God to grant my prayer request, to give what I desire, to do the exceedingly-abundantly-above-all that I could think and ask for right then and now. My hope was in the things that He could, He would, He should do. 

That day, I realised how I have forgotten that Jesus is my ultimate hope. 

I have forgotten that He has given everything to me

I have forgotten that He is my everything

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Psalm 103:1-5

That day, I realised that I should never forget all the benefits I didn’t deserve in the first place, the benefits He has willingly given to me.
the forgiveness so that I could live
the healing so that I could serve others
the redemption so that I could rebuild ruins
the lovingkindness so that I could give
the satisfaction of living in, with and for Him
The strength that I ever need

That day, I realized that I was saved by grace, my grief was redeemed by grace, my heart was healed by grace, and the only way I will never forget all of His benefits is when I lean on Grace. Grace as a person, Jesus Christ. Therefore I will hope. 

Friends, Grace will always welcome you, there is always a seat at the table reserved for you. Come and receive His hand. You are loved and you will hope again. 

You and I will make it through. Immanuel.

Love,
FW